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- Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut
up, dangit, all of you just shut UP!"
- Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask:
"Got enough air in there?
- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours
upside-down.
- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without
getting off.
- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors
open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and
then ask them to call you Admiral.
- On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay
open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "pink" at the
bottom.
- Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce
"I've got new socks on!".
- When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh no,
not now, dang motion sickness!".
- Meow occasionally.
- Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
- Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.
- Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one
of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
- Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.
- When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your
beeper?".
- Say "DING" at each floor.
- Say "I wonder what all these do" and then push the red buttons.
- Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers that this is your "personal space".
- Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host
body."
- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
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This document was last updated on Tuesday, December 7, 2004.
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